lolitaheart

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 02:00:16 GMT

New friends, new starts.

Sounds promising.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:24:20 GMT

Lately, life has been so unsatisfying. Eric makes me feel like I'm being suffocated, & I feel so distant from my friends. And these are friends I love dearly, but for some reason I'd rather withdraw myself, rather than explain anything to them. I'd rather live in the comfort of misery, because I don't understand why, but I never allow myself to enjoy life, it's like I like being miserable, or that I like feeling sorry for myself, even though I don't. I hate it. & lately, I look in the mirror, and I can't stand the person I see. Over the course of a few months, my weight has jumped from 127 to 150. I'm 5'1". I should weigh 127. But I'm chubby now. And I hate it when people say I'm not. I'VE GAINED 23 POUNDS WITHIN 3 MONTHS, I THINK I KNOW WHEN I'M CHUBBY. & my thin friends say that my pudge is "cute", I ask them, "Oh, but would you like to have it?" and they only give me blank stares and sympathy, because they realize it's really not "that cute".

I'm going to Dallas tonight, to see the town and the art school I'd like to attend.
It's a 5 hour drive from San Antonio. Joy.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 01:56:18 GMT

REVELATIONS.

I've been inspired. No, really. I'm seeking a thrill of independence. I'm excited to live in a city hundreds of miles from here, by myself. I love harsh experiences. I love to learn from them. I like growing stronger. I like having to push myself. I love this. There's only one thing--

Eric. He doesn't really understand me, & I think it scares him. But really, I don't think anyone can fully analyze the way I function. He doesn't understand the mechanics of my mind, he doesn't understand the chain of events that lead from one to another, he doesn't understand my imagination, & creativity or the ablities I have to relate to people, because I understand. I'm one of the most understanding people I know. I try to keep an open mind, & I've been doing a good job, I'd like to think. I try to see things from both sides, I like playing the devil's advocate. I like being alive sometimes, & sometimes, I think I'm not even supposed to be alive.

Ohh, but to live & love.

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:40:05 GMT

Hello my faithful LJ friends!!

I'm going to Austin tomorrow, so expect a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig picture update Sunday morning!!

;]

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 00:50:11 GMT

Life sucks as of now.

It's so annoying.
My sister has stolen my camera & killed my batteries.
As well as my pants. & a few shirts.
& shoes.
& purses.

IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS.
& this is the best part--
She's my older, 21-yr old sister.

Eric, I hate your friends.

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 22:30:31 GMT

CURRENT OBSESSION:

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 02:03:58 GMT

I'm sick, guys. :(

I'M SORRY, GUYS. :(

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 00:27:11 GMT

I've been a crappy LJ friend lately, but I have lots to tell!!

SATURDAY

I had an art competition, AKA "VASE", or "Visual Arts Scholastic Event". My friend Andrea picked me up, & I had worked really hard on my pieces, even though I thought I wouldn't place. But I ended up medaling with both of my pieces!! :)
(the first one reads, "Ouh Lolita! I just LOOOOVE your new shirt!", & actually painted on a wooden board.. that thing was such a pain to drag around to class.. x__x )

Later on Eric picked me up, & we ate at Chipotle! & then got my hair cut.. But unfortunately, now my bangs are reaaaally choppy... :( Oh well, they'll grow back. & I have this fashion mullet thing goin` on.. Oh well, I can rock it.
He made Saturday really sweet, we ended up going to the Japanese Tea Gardens, & we took cute pictures there on HIS camera `cause mine died. :( Oh well!! He'll send them to me. :)

SUNDAY

I went grocery shopping & took my nephew! His name is "Ryland".
& sadly, that was pretty much it.

MONDAY

This stupid ass redneck came up to my table during lunch, & disrespected me, making comments on my hair, & calling me a DIRTY MEXICAN (which I am not, I'm Filipino), & just making my friends uncomfortable.
So I cussed him out & threw my Arizona Green Tea at him.
Hahahaha!! He was drenched, it was amazing.
He was so pissed, he was trembling. I've never felt something so satisfying in my life!

He had it coming, that's all I got to say.
The only reason he was so pissed is that he thought I was one of those girls you can just step all over, but hellzzzzz no!
I'm a crazy bitch that got no shame, I will fuck you up. ;]

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 23:10:03 GMT

Forgive me!

I've been an awful LJ friend.
A big update is on its way.

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:57:22 GMT

Today was awful. :(

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 00:08:55 GMT

Hello!

never too much Hello Kitty.. :D

SO! Sunday night, I watched Marie Antoinette by my lonesome. My sister told me it sucked & all, but I actually liked it. But it's all whatever my sister is whaaack.

Yesterday, I ended up going to Chili's with my friend Cheyenne & her mother, & this guy her mother works with.

This bridge reminds me of Dancer In The Dark.

I wanted to show my LJ friends my industrial&tongue. :]

Walkin` home from the bus stop!

So today Eric didn't have to go to school until 12:30, so I didn't expect a text or a phone call from him this morning.
But as I gathered my things to head to the bus, my cell rings & its him! He asks me what I'm doing, then tells me to come outside!
& he's there, waiting to take me to school. :3 It was sweet, because I didn't think I would even see him today.. <3 <3

Today I had to take the exit level TAKS test. The TAKS is some statewide test thing.
I actually tried on it for once, & I was actually the last one done.
That NEVER happens.
But the people in my class started complaining & shit, & it got REAAL annoying..
So I took my time & wrote a little slower.. haha. My total test time was from 9:00am-2:00pm, & we get out of school at 3:45.

Afterwards, Staci joined me in letter writing & I let her borrow my markers, while I wrote to my boo. :3

PS! Today is my little brother's 14th birthday. I baked him a cake, & the batter is following me EVERYWHERE!!

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 23:29:12 GMT

eee! This is me & my beau, Eric.
Aah, he's wonderful, I swear. :]

I went to my art session at St. Philip's, & it sucked because I got oil paint on this hott shirt I just got.. :<
I got all dolled up & stuff because I felt like being cute for my boo, & then I dropped my palette on the floor & made a mess, it was just awful.

Thennnnn, after class, I had to wait 30 minutes for Eric to come get me.
But he made it up to me. :]

My entire day was amaaazing.
He took me out to eat, & took me out to La Cantera (this fancy-ass outdoor mall), & he bought me some new lingerie from Frederick's of Hollywood. ;D They're hella cute.

He ended up surprising me by taking me downtown (my faaaavorite place),
& downtown San Antonio = The Alamo!
Hehe, I figured since our love was made in Texas, why not kiss in front of Texas's emblem? ;]

I'm sorry there wasn't a lot of pictures. :( Eric is a distraction!

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 17:50:26 GMT

Hello, new life.

This journal is dedicated to LJ friends.
Those of you who read from far, far away.